Humph.

The Hurt Survey. Let's see if you can get through it.

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Id rather die.

2. Are you crushing on someone?
You can say that I guess LOL :)

3. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Emotionally, obviously.

4. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Not that I know of.

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Single life is good, relationship seems worse :$

6. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
yeah, sadly.

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Honestly, shit happens. You get over it in time.

8. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Im guessing yes.

9. Talk to your ex?
Rarely.

10. If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
And sometimes I wonder if we would of been happier. Because I didn't get the reason why we broke up.

11. Think any of your ex's want to go back out with you?
Doubt it.

12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
Why wouldn't I? If you really love the person, they're your everything.

14. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
If they deserve it.

15. Do you want to get married someday?
I can't imagine it. Complication with that.

16. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?
actually YEAH BAHA.

17. Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Duh, who hasn't?

19. Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
Nope.

20. How many times have you really truly been in love?
First love. At the time I was inexperienced.

21.Your last ex finds out you've fallen in love with another person?
Wouldn't give a shit.

When's the last time you were surprised?
Don't know.

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?
Truthfully, I wouldn't care.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Nestea.

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her?
I blew them up LOL.

Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw?
Salad

Your favorite celebrity appears while you're having a shower, you?
Ask for them to join ;)

Do you find smoking unattractive?
Im a smoker so no.

Where's the last place you went besides your house?
Bestfriends house.

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for?
More wishes :3

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
NO.

Whose bed were you on last?
Mine.

When was the last time you changed in front of someone?
Today, packing to move to another area.

Do you trust all of your friends?
Absolutely not.

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
Nice to other except me -_-

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
Hell yeah.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
It's freezing outside! Hence that im wearing shorts and a wife beater.

Do you believe ex's can really ever be "just friends"?
I believe so. If they can put aside their past.

Your ex wants you back?
Reject.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?
Short relationships. Experience haha.

Anyone say they want to be with you forever?
Yeap.

Do you remember who you liked this time 3 months ago?
Summer ting.

Last person you had a deep conversation with?
Jessica Ann Sto. Tomas & Arlene Vanessa Flores.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind?
Nope.

Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
Accept. I like meeting new people :)

Would you prefer being locked in a room with your ex or your worst enemy?
Ex, nuff said.

Have you kissed someone in '09 that means a lot to you?
It DID mean something, but yes.

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you?
Obviously. It's only natural that they be happy even if the person isn't with you.
It's a part of letting go.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
That would never happen, trust me.

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck?
depends on the situation ;)

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else?
If im truthfully over it, of coarse.

If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say ?
All boys school. Nuff said.

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yes I do.

Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you?
I don't think so.

Has the last person you kissed, met your family?
One person.

Have you ever received a myspace message that made you cry?
No, I don't have myspace because it's gay LOL.

Name someone whose name starts with the letter "L":
Leonard

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Don't really care.

Will you fall in love in the next month?
Highly Doubt It.

You're insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with?
TPZ YO!


Next time you will kiss someone?
Who knows.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Bestfriend, Cindy Villasanta.

Do you like to cuddle?
Yeah :)

If an ex said they hated you, you say?
Wouldn't care.

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
I don't know, but probably.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
DURRRR.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you?
Dunno, im not the jealous type. But if I did hear about it, instant break up lol.

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don't talk to at all?
Yeah, it's kinda sad.

Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life?
I know how to forgive.

Can you have more than one best friend?
Of coarse.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
Many, many times.

Last compliment you received?
"Your cute, can I get your number?"
LMAOOOOO.

Are you starting to realize anything?
I've realized alot in the past few days.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Bestfriend.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Absolutely.

Have you ever known someone that just creeped you out?
OH MAN, YES!

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name?
When Philipino people say it, yes.

"Hoy Julious!"

At the nigguhs place.

Here I am,
smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer.
But is this "good life" everyones talking about really worth it?
It kills me inside that im jealous.
Jealous that everyones happy except me.
I thought I was already over the break up,
but reminders of this person makes me want to shed a tear.
I tried everything.
Deleted photos, written notes etc.

But it still hurts me even if the name pops up out of nowhere.
I miss this feeling of being loved.
Taken for granted only for the abuse of my body.
Ridiculous.

It gets so hard fighting this battle everyday,
pin pointed in a corner and i cant run away.
Sacrificing my ALL to watch others succeed,... Read More
sticking to being humble thats how i been doin me.
I feel helpless, useless, outta my mind,
always puttin myself last but whens it MY time?
If this is the life, than i drop to my knees.
Im asking for guidance Lord help me please.

Right now, im wearing my heart on my sleeves.

Love didn't last forever.

So in short.
Saturday,
Jason Mraz concert.
After that ended up in a break up.
"We took things too fast, I think it's better to be friends"
Is what was said from the one I used to love.
Mutual agreement.
I was thinking the same thing.
Before we left, we were standing underneath a stoplight.
"As soon as that red light turns green, we go separate way and that's it."
Is what I had said.
Out of sight, I ran as fast as I could to the other side to fall on my knees and cry.

Monday was the birthday.
I said happy birthday and said take care.
Replied back, same to you.
Found myself talking to my amazing friends for comfort.
Saw that the one I used to love has moved on already to find another person.
Just to leave me in the dust.

Either way, im thankful.
That you came into my life.
Made me feel true happiness and loved for the first time.
Now that your gone, I needed to find myself again.
I do not regret anything.
But I know your happier now.
That's all that matters.
You will find someone better.
As will I just not now.
In a couple of years yes.
Just not now, after that my eyes are still set on you.
Trying to accept that your gone in my life.
But that doesn't mean I will be strong again.
I will get though this and find happier days.
And find the person who will be right for me.
This is your loss.

& don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

I Never Knew This Could Happen To Me.

Well, it's actually been a while since i've wrote on this.
No one even goes on this anyways haha.
Go figure. I was too busy fucking myself up:
Drugs
Cigarettes
Drinking
Piercings
Hair Color
Etc...

But anyways,
July 18th, 2009.
I met this person.
This person is amazing.
Im in love with this person.
This person loves me.
I am together with this person now.
I just wanted to say that I love you.
I don't care about the haters, right now you are all I need.
As long as were both happy, fights and judgment from other people doesn't apply.
It's a cruel world out there, but as long as your there beside me, I couldn't care less.
My first love, your first love.
Our forever commitment.

Horndog<3
LOL.

Hurrah for All-Nighters

So, I took the strength to write something short.
I honestly can't type properly right now D:
Im almost done my ISU.
Benifits I guess.
Deprived of sleep but yet still going.
I CAN DO THIS!

I just hope I can wake up or that would suck.

Anywhoo update on life,
things are becoming ok I guess.
Only exciting thing that went on was with a talk with a teacher about me getting bullied.
LIKE COME ON, I'LL HONESTLY TRY TO KNOCK A PERSON OUT WITH ALL MY MIGHT IF THEY TALKED ABOUT ME OR ANYONE ELSE :)
Still, it was kind of fun lying to an administrator.
I have like 6 Social workers and 3 people who monitor me in school.
So who gives a shit LOL.

Oh and I also taught another class by myself.
No Cindy, No Kyle.
Just me.
And Rhoelyn.
BAHA.

I really did have nervous breakdown for no apparent reason AFTER class was done.
Stupid me.
Well I really need to get back on my work so wish me luck people who randomly read this.

Playa Cards Right

I have ALOT of fake people in my school.
May I remind you readers that it's an ALL BOYS SCHOOL.
I never knew they're could be drama still.
Like things you see on a fucking drama.
LMFAO.
Anyways, I should mention at least one name to calm me now.
But since im nice and I don't expose names of those I despise,
I will call him JayMee.
So he's a two faced bitch LOL.
Honestly, everyone knows it too.
Behind those eyes lies a thief.
Innocent, I beg to differ.
Said no to things I didn't want to do,
he still tries and better yet forces me to do all this shit for him like he thinks im his friend.
Boy is he WRONG.

Truely, if I had told him things that he didn't want to hear, I could possibly make him cry.
I don't care about things said about me (for now),
but I could probably rant about him for a good 30 minutes.

Thank God for Blogspot.

ISU countdown: 7 more days.

Your Heart Lies To You

A lesson learned today.
My best friend had the balls to end something she always wanted to because it hurt her inside.

Another lesson,
Ignore what your heart says because in the end you get fucked over.

Last lesson,
don't fall in love with someone you know won't happen.
that will definitely screw you over

Love is blind in many ways.
Now if I could only find the person that isn't afraid to "man-up",
then i've found that person.

1432626.

Happy Birthday Jennie<3

Jennifer Ann Sampang,
Happy Birthday.

Your jam was great.
I met so many good people.

Hello Mina!

I have a new dog,
her name is Mina.
I love her.
She is 3 months old.
tee hee.

Something to remember you by.

I never realized so many people were protecting me.
The important thing was that I had to lose them to realize it.

goodbye 26,
loving you in secret won't work anymore...

these blem days.

look on last week.
major "Spam" attack in balikbyan boxes.
freeze- t-pain feat. chris brown choreography by Kyle Busquine
Major messing family up on friday.
high and drunk on saturday followed by bitched at rent+ sister's obnoxious laughter
church confession shit on sunday.

look on this week.
bomb bomb cartilage piercing monday
laundry day tuesday accommodated by a math test
wednesday is a normal day
thursday is A.G.O. + Rhoelyn's birthday<3
friday is no dance because of my stupidity.
saturday is i don't know.
sunday is apologize day for the Villasanta family.

laughs and tears here I come!

Birthday Boy.

It's my birthday.
Im 16.
whoo.

February 15

Is the day my best friend is born.
Cindy Mallari Villasanta<3
I Love Her Off.
Boys and Lesbos be gone,
she's all mine ;)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY<3

that is all.

I Have A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts.

I am in relief that I DON'T have school.
I HATE MY CLASSES.
I HATE THE TEACHERS.
I HATE THE SCHOOL.
But I stay because I love my friends,
no homo haha.
Misuse of the "no homo" phrase by Adrian.
Abuse of thrusting a cupcake in my mouth by Justin Sta Maria.
Reduce food take in by Rhoelyn.
OH SHIT I RHYMED.
Happy Birthday Janine,
Now you can grow an inch taller!
HAHA :)

Jam-Packed Weekend.
Friday: Dance Class taught By Cindy Villasanta (Fantasy)
Saturday: Love Life Hotel Party hosted by Jesus Glorious Church
Sunday: Cindyboo's Birthday<3
Monday: Familia Day
Tuesday: NOTHING IMPORTANT.

A Cup Full Of Hot Sex.

OH MAN RHOELYN<3
You are my soldier.
BAHA.
Aj Rafael is cool cause he as "Rafael" in it.
Julius Rafael Valdez.
WHOO!
Anyways,
church tingz. with cindyboo.
Orfus FUCKING road is AWESOME.
I still can't believe she spent $300+ on just ONE STORE.
Stitches is bomb like tick tick tick.
I miss the good old days,
where you could wear whatever you want,
but now,
IT'S FASHION CRISIS!

I can feel the birthday beats for those who know it's my birthday on February 17.
Note that I have always celebrated it alone for all these years.
No parents & friends.
Nothing but me in a room.
Probably sleeping LOL.
This year will hopefully be the year to find this "true love" bullshit.
Let's see what happens.
Baki The Grappler.
Such an OLD anime, but yet very good.

Cindy, GIVE UP ON THE MAN ALREADY.
Just another reason to get your heart broken.
But you know he's no good.
I HATE PLAYERS.

WHAT A FUCKING SLUU.

geeeeeeeeeez.
Today was such a workout.
I met some amazing people today.
"WHITE GIRL CAN DANCE, I LOVE HER STYLE."
Birthday coming up soon,
Im turning into a old hooker. LMAO.
Timmies and Rhoelyn.
Two of my loves.
Frreal, 367 should get fucked in the hole,
EAR HOLE.

Comfort is the best.

Ordinary People.

If I Find A Way Out-Rhoylien Grosspee.
Trying to make a new mix to that.
Today I made 5 Dollars selling "Black Market" Neil Clothing.
I guess you could say that im a hustler. Haha.
History is killing me and im always sleeping in class.
Watch me get hit by one of those enormous books while the teacher passes by my desk.
Mr.Masterson isn't a bad teacher, he just likes to SHOUT alot.
But seriously, I actually learned something new.
I look forward to Civics.

Poor Rachella,
Strip Throat.
I hope my sister gets better.
Love comes in different forms,
we just fight too much.
It's how we communicate.
"Ok, whatever shut up and leave."
LOOOOOOOOL.
Im such a bitch to my family.
Oh well.

Now that's "Something Stupid."

Eat Rice For Dinner.

FRIED RICE WHOO!
problems with Ms. Commitment and Mr. Player.
Marjorie Casas and Rhoelyn Gorospe are OFFICIALLY MEN.
Neil Guys For Life.
Let's go towards that Green Light.
"I'll be the Boo and you be the Bies."
rawr.

NEW GRANDSON BORN ON FEBRUARY 4TH, 2009.
KYLE LUIS GARCIA.

Disturbia.

"Umm you see me having a conversation here don't interrupt, RUDE!"
Oh man, Bon Qui Qui.
Second Semester is BRUTAL.
Dull Teacher,
Boring Teacher,
Bite My Head Off Teacher.
I think I should murder myself right now.
MEDIA ARTS IS BALLIN!

I switched the price for the binders, AT DOLLARAMA.
Come on, who wants to pay $1.79 for a binder?
$1.15 sounds much better.

I am a thief in the night.
Rockband and recording haha.
"Girl talking with Kyle."

BAM!

Blaspheme, "You Just Got Booked."

February 1st is almost up!
Tomorrow is the start of a New Semester.
Hot DAMN.
Im thinking about joining lookbook...
after I get my camera, new clothes and a job.
sixteen days until my wretched day I was born.
I really shouldn't have been.
fourteen days until my bestfriends birthday.
Im glad to have her.
Now that I think about it,
every year I never had a plan for such a special occasion.
Reason being because I never had anyone to celebrate with.
Back then I was hella ugly.
Today im a bit better.
Living my life as I want to.
But still, something makes me think.
"What happens if I switched placed with someone else?"
I'm scared to know what will happen towards the future but excited.

God Give Me Strength To Achieve.

All Things Are Good In Moderation.

Im such a glutton. baha.
I feel bad for not going to church.
but I usually don't go so what makes the difference today?
Maybe because one of my aunts are having a baby in two days?
Because someone I love is terribly sick?
Today being the first day of February?
Who knows,
"twenty five random to twenty five chickens."
WHAT THE DUCK?

february air.

Yesterday was a good day,
just staying still and let the world pass by for a couple of hours in warm sheets.
waaaow to the black doctor Phil (Kyle).
hello to the new painted room.
can't wait to see that.
everyone has been having problems lately.
maybe because it's the season of love.
asian dude is having troubles.
i feel bad and i can only comfort.
shuun on me~
finally, WINSTON TALKS ON THE PHONE WITH ME.
I truly think that "white boy" is "batty".
Natasha Nicole Gibe.
Webcamming was fun.
interesting poses.
listening to these words on my huge headphones.
"I remember when my heart broke.
I remember when I gave up loving you."

Digs in me like a fat kid going all out on his pudding.

Those are just memories,
refresh baby.

Tea Shop 168

"Just Lovely."
Tell me how you CAN'T use chopsticks?
EPIC FAIL <3
One More Drink- Ludacris
i already forgot that choreography XD
waaaaow.
The Uninvited wasn't that scary.
holay shoot.
"Want to go to that christmas party Aileen?"
*chinese accent*

HI-RO: Chocolate Flavoured Sandwich Cookies

9:31PM
that is really odd.
i got a call from someone strange.
i honestly can't remember.
am i just retarded or deaf?

11:24PM
I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHO IT WAS.
some girl named maria.
kim's ex-girl.
im surprised i engaged in conversation with her.
waaaaaow.
she is on his balls like a little bitch.
hot daymn.

love, war and chocolate?

let's see.
kyler, maryrose and mr.durzi.
woooot.
party at my house?
not even,
more like chillage at the garbage dump.
my house is a mess.
and now they're nagging at me D:
nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.
rhoelyn's coming soon.
SHAMBAAAM!

many secrets spoken.
things i didn't want to hear.

lack of concentration!

I have the hardest exam tomorrow,
and yet,
I still watch Anime, Asian Dramas and Tetris.
WHAT THE HELL?

I honestly hope I don't fail D:
that is all .

EXAMS ARE GAY .

waaaow, i think im addicted to writing everyday.
i should probably stop for a bit haha.
but as we all know,
1st semester is finally coming to an end.
now we have GAY exams.
tuesday, wednesday and thursday im booked.
english is hard even though i can speak perfectly.
i should try this time.
religion is religious. (well no fucking way)
who gives a shit.
haha.
science is waaaaay too easy for me.
and thats only because im in applied.
geeez.

wish me luck bitches.

MAJOR HAIR CRISIS .

SPAZ ATTACK IN 3,2,1 .
WHAT THE FUCKING LARD!
IM SUCH AN IDIOT.
I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW .
SOOOOOOOO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW.
IM SUCH A FUCKING RETARD.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRG!

*cries in a corner*

before this all happened,
after my shower,
i decided to cut my hair.
then after i got my razor and started thinning my hair.
but then,
someone knocked on the door so loud.
I CUT A PART OF MY HAIR OFF.
NOW I HAVE A FUCKING BALD SPOT.
THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
(well for you guys it is)
I WANT TO GET A HAMMER AND SMASH MY TEMPLE.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

now I have this stuff from chinatown on my face that will magically make my pimples go away/whiter.
FAKE.

"I Like That Jesus Music Up In This Joint"

So far,
i have done no studying whatsoever.
im such a lazy lazy.
besides from that,
my teacher said she would boost up my mark if i did a few assignments.
(read the previous previous blog :P)
so i've decided to NOT fail religion.
like come on,
WHO FAILS RELIGION?
topic chosen:Abuse
it went out pretty well.
now im stuck picking 4 Christian songs and summarize them.
oh joy.
question proposed,
what songs should i pick?
hmm...

Birthdays, Exams & Relationships.

A Very Mari Birthday.
Mandarin, Clubbing, Condo Party & Mossing around the Beaches.

Exams.
Monday is Exam Prep.
Tuesday is English Exam.
Wednesday is Religion Exam.
Thursday is Science Exam.
Friday is PARTY TIME AT THE HOTEL!

Relationships.
asian dude and another asian.
448 & 662.
Miss Thang and her Persian Prince.

what a day.

what an adventure .

today was epic .
despite i had to run from school,
to the burger king at Victoria Park,
to my house,
borrow a key from the office,
go to my computer and burn a cd that i bought,
skipped third period without the teacher knowing,
going on the subway,
and buying ice tea,
it was a fucking workout.
but it was worth it.
i feel INVINCIBLE.
after school ,
journeying to Vaughn with the best friend blackie Kyle Busquine.
teaching Flashing Lights to a bunch of asian kids with a hint of black and indian.
amazing time.
chocolate milk and meat supreme pizza ?
THAT SOUNDED NASTY.
girl talking with Dr.Phil.

now im currently listening to Rent.
BRAAAAAAAP!

SO IM STUPID. LOL

so basically,
my mother told me that some kid went into my room,
and used a blank cd i needed in order to teach in class tomorrow.
immedietly i rushed out the door at 10:50pm looking for another one.
i had 5 dollars and nothing more because no one has given me money for the whole week.
walking from my house all the way to victoria park at a shoppers drug mart,
i finally get in and find it.
only 2 problems,
it was a 10 pack and 10 dollars.

in utter failure,
i walk back home in shame and anger.
i get home,
laughing starts to happen.
"your so stupid."
i hear it over and over again,
slowly backing into my room.
lights off,
didn't even bother to take off my coat.
i just lay there,
shedding just a tear.
honestly,
no one knows how much it means to me,
to teach something i love for the first time.
now i won't be able to do it...
shame.

FAMILY, OH MY!

so today hannah and chris labucas came over to my house today after some random chillage at museum station lol.
RUSH HOUR 3 IS THE SHIT.
and then,
the family came home.
usually they're rude and obnotious.
today i have experienced something i hope to see again,
them being NICE.
it's a miracle!
but then again,
very embarassing...
but still,
today was epic :)

Senior Ties, Vests, Flannel Pants, etc .

Neil Mc Neil is EPIC FAIL.
Everytime,
I ALWAYS get a chance to get a free uniform.
in total, iv'e probably taken about 15 sets of uniforms for myself and other people for nothing.
im such a nice person ~
jueeesus christ.
I feel so exposed right now.
FUCK IT.

Skipping Class is Cool ?

Well , it;s 8:55 and im really bored at school.
Im like skipping 1st period which is english.
reason being, ISU ESSAY.
some niner class is watching Romeo and Juliet in the modern day version .
soooo gaaaay .
I wish i had someting productive to do.
but instead, every thought that goes in my head is just like.
BLEH .
Besides from melting my avocado brain,
i've been thinking lately about the new year and what stores ahead.
For me, I just need to be myself instead of being fake.
ENOUGH SAID.
Honestly, not hoping to find anything "love" related this year.
secretly i've been dating,
but still,
this year, i don't think ill be needing anyone.
Its probablly because I don't want another broken heart,
having time for it to heal.
I don't need it.
Ranting is fun.
I guess this is where I can release a thought or two just for the heck of it.
and i've also given up on the space before the period thing.
im really annoyed of it now.
OH SHIT ,
another resolution!
haha , sweet deal.
btw,
i suck at dancing .
thanks :)
finished at 9:11

One After Another .

zomfg .
i honestly can't concentrate D:
"im so sick, infected with..."
HOMEWORK .
fuck life .

how many people have been messaging me ?
my goodness ,
readers ,
remind me to STAY OFF when I have something important to do .
facebook too :)

BLAH !

First Blog Thingy .

Bonjour everyone :)
i thought i'd never make this, i thought wrong haha .
Julius Valdez here, supposed to do an english ISU that was due like 3 days ago .
im still not done, and im failing with a 52% .
SHAAAAAME ON MEEEEE .
well then ,
off to nerd land I guess...
i hate homework ,
UGH !

I should also mention ,
for GERR who inspired me to make this.
LMAO .