Here I am,
smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer.
But is this "good life" everyones talking about really worth it?
It kills me inside that im jealous.
Jealous that everyones happy except me.
I thought I was already over the break up,
but reminders of this person makes me want to shed a tear.
I tried everything.
Deleted photos, written notes etc.
But it still hurts me even if the name pops up out of nowhere.
I miss this feeling of being loved.
Taken for granted only for the abuse of my body.
Ridiculous.
It gets so hard fighting this battle everyday,
pin pointed in a corner and i cant run away.
Sacrificing my ALL to watch others succeed,... Read More
sticking to being humble thats how i been doin me.
I feel helpless, useless, outta my mind,
always puttin myself last but whens it MY time?
If this is the life, than i drop to my knees.
Im asking for guidance Lord help me please.
Right now, im wearing my heart on my sleeves.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Love didn't last forever.
So in short.
Saturday,
Jason Mraz concert.
After that ended up in a break up.
"We took things too fast, I think it's better to be friends"
Is what was said from the one I used to love.
Mutual agreement.
I was thinking the same thing.
Before we left, we were standing underneath a stoplight.
"As soon as that red light turns green, we go separate way and that's it."
Is what I had said.
Out of sight, I ran as fast as I could to the other side to fall on my knees and cry.
Monday was the birthday.
I said happy birthday and said take care.
Replied back, same to you.
Found myself talking to my amazing friends for comfort.
Saw that the one I used to love has moved on already to find another person.
Just to leave me in the dust.
Either way, im thankful.
That you came into my life.
Made me feel true happiness and loved for the first time.
Now that your gone, I needed to find myself again.
I do not regret anything.
But I know your happier now.
That's all that matters.
You will find someone better.
As will I just not now.
In a couple of years yes.
Just not now, after that my eyes are still set on you.
Trying to accept that your gone in my life.
But that doesn't mean I will be strong again.
I will get though this and find happier days.
And find the person who will be right for me.
This is your loss.
& don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Saturday,
Jason Mraz concert.
After that ended up in a break up.
"We took things too fast, I think it's better to be friends"
Is what was said from the one I used to love.
Mutual agreement.
I was thinking the same thing.
Before we left, we were standing underneath a stoplight.
"As soon as that red light turns green, we go separate way and that's it."
Is what I had said.
Out of sight, I ran as fast as I could to the other side to fall on my knees and cry.
Monday was the birthday.
I said happy birthday and said take care.
Replied back, same to you.
Found myself talking to my amazing friends for comfort.
Saw that the one I used to love has moved on already to find another person.
Just to leave me in the dust.
Either way, im thankful.
That you came into my life.
Made me feel true happiness and loved for the first time.
Now that your gone, I needed to find myself again.
I do not regret anything.
But I know your happier now.
That's all that matters.
You will find someone better.
As will I just not now.
In a couple of years yes.
Just not now, after that my eyes are still set on you.
Trying to accept that your gone in my life.
But that doesn't mean I will be strong again.
I will get though this and find happier days.
And find the person who will be right for me.
This is your loss.
& don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
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